I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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