I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
