YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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