i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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