It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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