Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
