honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
