ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i love accidental penises.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
