I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
