your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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