so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
