i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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