so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
organizing the empties. That sober.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
