Whod you bang
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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