you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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