Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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