Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
of course. lets lasso hookers.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
