i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
