New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My dick has a subreddit
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
