A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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