My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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