The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
