well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Are we still banned from the library?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize