Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
