We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The struggles of a small town man whore
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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