you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
