Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
