He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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