I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
