yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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