My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
