Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
