Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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