Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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