Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
