mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize