Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
