if i can run in heels then i can drive
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
