your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
