she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
