I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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