My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.