maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.