I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.