next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
