never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
