Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
