youre lurking in front of me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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