please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
