Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
