i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
