Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
