They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
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ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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