He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize