there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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