To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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