i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I AM VODKA MAN
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
