so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
