You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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