Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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