Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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